Don't let me go because I really love you so

Squall X Rinoa 4 Ever!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I guess I will blog random stuffs today..hmm

Holiday coming to an end! Next week starts school:( I drag service practicum the most..hope I can survive through..lol

And also means..this will be the last week I will work in Delfi, working there this vaction help me to learn a little bit of accounting, and I can conclude that it IS a tiring job to do..haha. I hope my timetable, somehow but I dun really hope, can help me find time to go back to Delfi to work..lol

Yay, bough my first item in Ebay usig my own debit card...lol. Actually, I bough quite a few before but always use brother Ken's debit card to help me pay first..haha, really pei seh, and now I can buy it on my own...erm..I think I should start to work double hard now..lol

Oh ya, my first somesort of major event at JCG. Horror Night! Movie screening, games and nightwalk, all the materials, manpower and logictisc wise I have to get it done. Tiring, but I am having fun and learn a bit on event planning..lol

And yes, today, peg ask me..do I still like him? My ans to her is, yes, I still do but not so much in the past, u can say time really can so call fade things if nothing done to it. And at the same time, I more or less told her, there is this guy, I now like. No..should I say, since secondary school? But I keep surpassing the feeling down cause I know is impossible, so I just ignore it. But a incident few months back unwilling unlock this lock door of feeling. Is a long story, and yes, I am trying to lock back. Since I can do it in the past, I dun see y I cant now.

The guy peg talk about, he reallly distract me from him for quite a long time, simply because he envoke a feeling that I never know I have(now, I am wondering if there is a term for this feeling). In fact. both envoke totally different feelings,
one- shyness, heart beat dumps faster even if he is long gone, feeling happy for just looking or even talking to him.
the other-sense of ease, sense of security, love to talk to him...will want to do anything to makes him happy...sth like BFF.
But the latter is slightly stronger feeling because I still have contact with him but none for the former(tooshyto talkla).

So therefore, I confess, that I actually some sort of like 2 guys. Is it wrong to do so? i dunno..i feel so guilty about it actually that I only admit one only(whichever feeling seems stronger) . But wanting, one of my best friends, told me it isn't wrong but still...haiz. Of course, no doubt, some ppl said this is called hua xin but there seems no option for me..at least..for now

What is love, what is like? I cant tell the difference. Thats y I still cant tell, which i like, which I love. Is so damn confusing that I now throw it aside(erm..somehow).

Now concentrating of other things really distract me from all these things call love. But from the way I keep things to myself, I forsee myself to be single this life(not that I mind..haha)..but, one can dream right? lol