Squall X Rinoa 4 Ever!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Well, the examination is finally over, and now, I got around 2 weeks for me to have fun before I get my results and continue to have fun or sunk, lol
All I can say is, beside the Casino Operation, the rest of the subjects I have pretty much confident in passing, lol
Since my Casino's coursework is only a D, which I do not know if it is a D or D+, I know for my passing kinda of really at the border line. If it is a D+, all is well but if it is a really low D, like 30 or 31 marks..I die...I guess I hope my coursework D is actually 32-35.9..hopefully. Haiz, Dr Lee never put +...make me worry so much or even worrier if I know I get an actual D...haiz
And the paper itself, I guess 40 marks just out of the window...oh and by the way, you only need min. 40 marks to pass the paper...though your overall percentage must be 50%...coursework 60%...exam paper 40%...so you need why i am so worried about what kind of D I am getting...
I really hope I can pass my Casino paper so that I can get through this final sem without any worries.
And as for my GPA, all I hope that it will not drop too much through it will drop regardless, based on what I see in my coursework grade, haiz...just my luck...
Finally went to apply for NIE just now. I hope I can get short-listed for interviewing. After all, besides NIE, I did not see much on where I should go anyway...and maybe out to the workforce? Seriously speaking, I prefer to study...lol
Wish all the best to me in my results! I will update soon with some nosense stuff...for now...I need to take a well-deserved sleep...Zzzzz
Seeya!
Monday, February 09, 2009
~Waltz
The light is on her, the stage is hers. And the audiences and judges waited as she slowly began her solo performance.
As the dancer waltz across the stage, following the melody of 'Swan Lake', she began to remember that all this is for him.
That faithful night three years ago had robbed her of everything. Her partner, her lover and most importantly, her soul mate.
For three years, there was never a night that she would not miss him. For three years, there was never a night she would not cry, thinking of him.
On the tragic night, it was raining heavily. She was waiting across the street just for him. When their eyes met, she knew he was up to something. When he ran across the road to meet her, he was hit by a drunk driver.
When he flew away and landed miles away, so does her heart. She ran towards him, and all he did was hand her a tiny box that contain a ring and a eternal promise before he went to sleep forever.
And the rain continue to pour while crowds gathered. And that night, two souls were lost forever.
Their families and friends encouraged her to move on. But she refused, still clutching on the ring that he had last given to her. The ring that he promise he would give once they had finish their performance as a dancers together and leaves the dancing scene forever.
And so, she promise herself that she would win the solo performance and wear the ring on her finger instead of hanging it around her necklace like now.
Three years of hard work. Soulless body continue to push herself to the limit and she won.
The tears she shed while waltzing across the stage, and the emotion she displayed won the hearts of the judges and the audience altogether.
She did not went to collect her prize. To her, the ring she put on her ring finger after remove it from her necklace is her prize as she walk away. Feeling once happy that she had won the solo performance for him and their song.
When she walked out, it was raining heavily and she began to remember that night. As she walked aimlessly towards the red light, she too, met the same fate as her soul mate three years ago.
She felt no pain, only the feel of someone catching her from behind and she twirl around, a true smile formed as she asked
"You finally catch me"
"Didn't I promised?"
But to the amazed onlookers, the dancer that just died in the fatal car accident had a smile on her face when she died.
And their families buried her next to him. And while they are visiting, two butterflies flew past them, twirling around with each other. And to their joy and the bittersweet tears formed,
what they saw was;
The two lovers finally reunite together. Dancing their endless waltz together with a smile on their face at their own heaven.
---Waltz by cheerlygal. Inspired by the song, 一千零一夜 ( A thousand and one night, and hence, the rough estimate of three years) and the dancing scene of Squall and Rinoa in Final Fantasy VIII
This is my vision every time I listen to this song. It is a bittersweet ending and the characters I always had in my mind is Squall and Rinoa. I love happy ending of them but for this song, bittersweet sounded better.
And maybe one day, I will come up with the version on how the song relate to me. Just maybe. For now, just enjoy the rough storyline that purely based on the song itself. While some may argue that it may not fit, to me, it is just perfect. After all, different people have different imagination.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
It is confirmed. I will be going to Beijing from 13 June to 19 June this year. My youngest aunt is going to book the air tickets now. I will be going with her, my grandma, my uncle and his wife.
Was supposed to go to Hong Kong but my youngest aunt said she felt nothing much there and moreover now tickets to Beijing is cheaper, so she decided to go there after asking all of us.
So, before June arrives I need to:
- Study hard and pass the four papers
- Wait for results in March 12 and if pass. Time to burn those darn lecture notes!
- If fail, sadly *touch wood* have to re-take
- If fail again, repeat the whole semester. Will still go Beijing but...
- Hopefully 3 and 4 will not come true
- Take that piece of paper that state I earned the Diploma after 3 long years in May and be gone!
- Meanwhile, between March to June, I will work like crazy to earn the trips money. Yes, I pay everything by myself...
- At the same time, I will go donate blood at least once again!
- And have some wild fun during days off!
- And so, with so many things, where got time to think of something else?
Ya right, I think I am lying to myself. I still think too much though, cant be healthy....
Oh well, just some news! Ta-da!
Sunday, February 01, 2009
In August 2003, if I am not wrong, I get to know this guy from online. At first, he kind of annoys me but soon, just few months after I knew him, he began to grow on me. I still remember our conversation, jokes that we share.
Lets call him H
In a way, you can say, I really like H at that point of time. I was only 14 and so was him. We studies at different schools. hes at top notch while mine just...well..normal.
And then, just as qucikly he came into my virtual life, he dissppear. That's when I realise that I was well inlove with H. Haha, sound so corny now.
At the same time, well, there is this another guy who treats me well but I never really like him in that way but as soon as H disappear, I dunno why but I ended up liking him simply because he resemble in terms of characters like H. But it is not totally replacement or what they like to call, I still like this guy for what he is as well. People who went to the same secondary school as me would know who he is la, lol. Dun worry, right now I like him nothing more than friends.
I like all my friends anyway..lol
Ok, off topic..ok..what next.
H appears, again, when I was in sec 4, nearly a year after he disappear. Claming his com spoil, oh well, he might be speaking the truth but who knows right?
But anyway, I thought I was totally over him. So as usual, we chat like old friends blah.
I still remember how he tutor me in Maths while I was studying in O-level.
Quite concidencetally, the topic he revise with me came up mostly and perhaps because of that I manage to pass, I guess
After we get the results, he goes to a good JC and I to TP.
All this while, I am locking away whatever leftover feelings I had for H inside, telling myself that it was a crush years ago.
But how can I explain to myself that I dress up nicely just to meet him, even it last less than 5 mins?
How can I explain that I was happy and high all the time when I manage to see him?
I was suppose to be over him right?
I am lying to myself all the time. I even had a 'boyfriend' which lasted less than a month, thinking that that I may get over him. When he asked me, I just accepted because of that, and also I was rather shock that someone can like someone like me.
I know it was very selfish, till now, I still feel guitly for what I did despite that fact that the ex did do something to irk me, but that was a different story. I was partly my fault as well anyway.
At the same time, H and I rarely talk though. I guess we are bz with our own things.
I remember in year 2007, I kind of have this huge crush on this guy. Totally. For like half a year but dimmed down when we actually start to talk less.
That year, was my first and last present to H, I even tried to stitich something(which fail) to him. I even joke I would stitich his face when he turn 21.
I dunno but his sudden appearance, yes, he do disappear again for quite sometime, he unlock whatever I lock and I knew, that point of time, for the past 4 years, I never really gotten over him.
At the point of time, I was so close in revealing what I feel, I dunno if he had guess but ever since last year, just before he got his A-level results and after he got into NS. He just stopped talking to me.
Just stopped. I dunno if it is really concidence that all the time I tried to talk to him online he was busy. I always said hi but he never reply. He never blocked me, even now, but never talk.
I attempted, I tried but in the end, I gave up.
It was a stupid crush that gotten big this time round, I told myself.
But I cant help but feel jealous when I realise he still taking to a girl we knew online. She is taking her O-level this year. I feel that, in way, she is more closer to him that I was ever with him back then.
So, if I was over, why I feel jealous. And why I cry when I realised that?
I find it stupid, he was just a online friend that I only met twice but yet he created so much impact on me, I find myself stupid.
And I find it stupider to cry over this one-sided love that I have been habouring for like almost 6 years now. I find myself to be a stupid girl after all. Crying over a virtual guy.
After everything, I realised that I was indeed falling deep inside. And it was a heartbreak even though it was just me and my stupid thinking. He is just happy with his own life I guess.
Now, I realised everything, I finally let go. It feel goods and now even though it still hurts even thinking about it, I know given time, I can truely forget about this.
Now, currently, I admit I still dunno if it is just a crush or even maybe slightly more that that. With a guy nick by my close friends and also his seniors(no, he is not younger than me, in fact older but came in poly late)lollipop, and recently I dunno why, not exactly guy or girl.
Lollipop, I think I prefer this slightly more, is somewhat a cross between admiration for his talents, as well, for his looks(I know he is kns by my close friends standard but eh, whatever:P)
I love to talk to him when we meet and I like the way he talks as well as his rather odd characters and manners. In a way, I find him cuteXP
So well, the reasons I start to write all this down because I really need a closure to this sillyness of mine.
And H, if you happen to read this, and do not pretend you dunno who you are because it is so bloody obvious, please tell me how you feel all this time so at least I know what exactly happen. All I want is to start everything over again as friends back then and remains as just that.
I really miss the old days of old jokes and random lameness while online.
I pour all my heart out now and I finally start anew.
And maybe, new destiny awaits? lol
Now, I think my close friends is sort of puking now knowing I find her junior cute..lol. Sorry, you know my standard la:P
All the best to all of us who will be leaving TP soon(hopefully, for me)!
Bye!
