Don't let me go because I really love you so

Squall X Rinoa 4 Ever!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Reinventing me to catch your eyes

To let you see the different side of me

And pretty much everyone else too

There's a fine line between love and lust

But yet, what is love and lust?

Can you tell the difference?

I cannot tell you, for I never experience

Love and lust but only adore from afar.

This is neither a poem or prose, is just some random one, two line thing coming together. I feel like writing these down partly due to the fact I feel the same way in a few lines.
Inspiration from the fan fiction, 'Reinventing me' by Emerald_La tis(I think that is her spelling...)

Now currently stuck on playing the new Valkyrie Profile game, despite the fact it is Japanese, I pretty much can understand 40-45% of the whole thing haha.
That, despite the fact I know I have work to do, always push to the last minute though...

Hating someone is painful, in the end, even though you thought you get your revenge, you may ended up lose more than you thought and that actually, you do not really get your revenge...so...what for? Thats the point in this new Valkyrie Profile game...oh well...you don't exactly get a good bargain with the devil anyway...

Somehow, when I read reading others blog, I realise that I am missing on the fact that I seldom blog about myself, feelings etc, I guess I am being too private, at the same time, I do not feel like offending anyone, just in case I suppose, especially since I wasn't exactly popular with people, I guess.

Like...when I was just seated not beside but rather a big gap at the centre of the classroom later by another row of tables, the guy was like, 'can I change with you' to the another guy in front of him and he replied 'I thought you want her to change her(while looking over at my direction) seats instead'
Not the first time it happen, neither I believe is the last time. I just don't want to list it all out...Once or twice, okay...happen to me only...maybe a prank that would go away, but over the span of 2 years? Give me a break...
Guys, am I that ugly or what? Do I make you puke on seeing me? I don't really talk to you guys either. What's the snickering for?
Frankly speaking, I am really tired of all these. Maybe I overlook some of my flaws but I just..don't know if you guys don't tell me anything...
Sometimes I really feel like crying at one corner and wonder why all these happen...

Maybe I wasn't meant to be with anyone...

Ok, there, I said it. I feel really mentally tired of all these...really

Sometimes I wonder, is there someone out there will try to understand me? Most give up in their process...I know I am complicated, everyone is...I guess. I just cant understand myself...

Whatever...at least I just clear some of my thoughts...

But I guess...I am back with putting back my mask of smile and pretend everything is okay even though I know it is not.
For those who try to understand me, I am sorry that I have let you down. I guess I did not try hard enough to open my door wide enough or the courage to do so. But I am not giving up, I will try to get back even the small bit of what is before, best is most.

Give me time, I hope is not too late...

And well, you know who you are, I thank you for being there for me most of the time even though I know you are busy. I know I annoyed you at times but thank you nevertheless. This year would not be easy without you.
I may not be your closet but you are closet to me.
Thank you...and I hope we can be still the same for quite some times in the future. Because, reality have prove that forever is hard when all of us have different path to go...

Oh well, I guess this is the first time since dunno when I sort of bare it out. I hope I will not offend anyone, I am sorry if I do, I just wanna clear things up. Maybe is just misunderstanding or over-sensitive on my part..

Bye, for now.